Managing the Peanut Gallery: How to Keep Wedding Shopping Joyful

As a former wedding stylist, it always aggravated me when a bride would be in the fitting room, trying on a dress, and you could see the tiny smile forming, that look that let you know she might have found IT. And then she would take a step out of the fitting room, under horrible fluorescent lights, and face The Peanut Gallery. The group of ladies that you selected to be your support group on what should be a fun, beautiful experience. But a few mimosas in and five dresses later, they went from your lovely friends to a coven of witches, raining on your parade.

Going shopping for your wedding dress can be a rollercoaster of emotions. For many, it’s more than just a dress. It’s a dress that will live on in pictures of that day for years, possibly even making an appearance in a future "Throwback Thursday" post. It will be a topic of conversation the moment you reveal it at the ceremony, with guests whispering, "Is that lace or tulle?" You want to look AND feel beautiful on your wedding day, and you want your partner to look at you and fall in love all over again, shed a tear or two. Add to all this that for many brides, navigating self-image can add an unexpected layer to the experience. Yes, that dress carries a lot of baggage, and we’re not just talking about the train!

Before going dress shopping, we humbly suggest a few tips on setting some very much needed boundaries so that the support group remains supportive.

1. Choose your bride team wisely! Your day, your choice, but we suggest maybe leaving the bridesmaids out of the shopping trip and letting them be surprised the day of the wedding. Some of the best pictures are the reactions of your bridesmaids seeing you in your wedding dress for the first time, the day of the wedding. Keep the shopping group small and pick those that you know will be supportive and know you, not criticizing and making you feel small.

2. Expectations early to avoid the headaches. Let them know outright that they are there to support you, not to dictate or impose their choices on you. Let them know that you want this day to be fun and confidence-boosting!

3. Feel free to take timeouts (or put them on timeout, lol). If during the day, you start to feel overwhelmed, take a break. Nobody said you must decide on that day on a dress, or that you must take everyone’s feedback into account, or adhere to some triathlon-like schedule that day.

4. Your stylist has seen it all! Feel free when you are with her in the dressing room to help you buy some time in the room before you step out if you need it. Let them know ahead of time if there are certain triggers, sensitive topics, or personalities in your group that might need gentle redirecting. A good stylist will have your back and subtly manage the room when needed.

5. The most important tip: Remember WHO is wearing the dress! Aunt Carol and her opinions on tulle over lace will not be wearing the dress. Your friend Jenny, who has watched all the seasons of Say Yes To the Dress, is not a fashion expert and will not be wearing the dress. Come wedding day, the one who will be wearing the dress will be you. And you must not only love the dress but love how you look and feel in it. Honestly, the only opinion that matters is yours.

Choose the dress that makes you happy. Everyone else can sip mimosas and cheer you on... or secretly wish they had your style!