Unhinged Things That Happen at Weddings (And How to Avoid Them)

I’m about to let you in on a little industry secret: there are NO PERFECT WEDDINGS. Something always happens. A small fire. A minor meltdown. A moment that could’ve become a story for the group chat. Luckily, your wedding coordinator already handled it, and if it’s one of our weddings, you’ll never know. (We’re basically chaos ninjas.)

That being said, we’ve all been to weddings where things shift rapidly from a Matthew McConaughey rom-com to a full-blown SNL sketch. And almost every single one of those moments? Completely avoidable. Which brings us to this blog.

First unhinged item in the list: Letting that ONE person have a microphone. Let us be real here, we all have that family member who has the best of intentions but should NEVER go near a microphone. They believe they are orators, and at family parties, they find their audience. Your wedding day is not that day. You want to prevent it? Set that boundary with your coordinator and DJ from the get-go. Let them know who is giving speeches, and then who should be kept off the microphones. Some DJs come prepared with a “if you want to address the bride and groom, go find them on the dance floor” message so that everyone gets the hint. Trust us, Aunt Lanie won’t change just because it’s a wedding!

I wish I could say that this second one doesn’t happen often. But after almost thirteen years in the business, this one never fails to surprise us in the worst possible ways. Surprise performances. Singing. Dancing. Interpretive movement. Your wedding is not America’s Got Talent, so unless it’s a professional entertainer that you and your planner have vetted, that sorority sister who sings at karaoke parties doesn’t need to perform!

The next unhinged moment is brought to you by the Want-To-Be-Helpful but just create chaos family movers. We normally see this when your wedding ceremony must flip for reception purposes. All the guests are moved to the cocktail area, and the coordinators and venue team begin to stack chairs, when suddenly, Uncle Rob and all the cousins and extended family pop out of nowhere and self-appoint “furniture managers”. With no idea of the floor plan, they begin to move chairs, increasing the flip from a 10-minute move to a 45-minute escape room with towers of chairs, knocked down centerpieces, all in the name of help. Ladies and gentlemen, go enjoy cocktail hour and leave the moving to the professionals!

In a previous blog, I explained how timelines are the real MVP. Ignoring a timeline, however, has to be, in my mind, THE most unhinged moment EVER in a wedding. As a planner and coordinator, every minute of a wedding is detailed and fine-tuned to provide the bride and groom with a stress-free, enjoyable evening. You will turn into Ross from Friends when he kept saying “I’m fine!” in that high squeaky voice. You let that timeline slip, and you’ll be playing catch-up all night, stressing, trying to make things work. Don’t. Ignore. The. Timeline.

This unhinged moment is brought to you by all your vendors as one of the biggest pet peeves ever. The unannounced plus one. AAAAAH! You handed your caterer and your venue the final count. And the day of the wedding, in comes Cousin Tony with his new girlfriend of only 4 days of dating. Demanding a chair for her at the table that can sit only eight. Plated dinner, which means there is no dinner selection for her. And so he sends his mom, Aunt Judy, to your mom during the Father-Daughter dance, asking if they can scrounge up a chair and a plate of dinner. My advice? Spread the word early on, no RSVP, no seat at the table, no plate of food, and in some venues, that also means no entry into the party.

Unexpected moments happen. A good coordinator will let you know that any potential unhinge moment is handled. A great coordinator will take care of everything, and you will never know that something was about to happen. The key to a great wedding is having a team of vendors that know what they are doing and that will handle everything for you. You know, like us ;-)