Unless you are getting married in a church, deciding on who will marry you can be stressful. After all, they are the ringmasters of your ceremony, they set the tone and pace, they walk you through what you will be saying to each other, they address your guests, they are responsible for getting the witness signatures and mailing out your wedding license. So how do you go decide?
First off, if you decide to go with a family or friend who has never officiated before, we recommend you give them a heads-up of at least 9-12 months so that they can get all the legal documentation they will need. Make sure that you are doing the research with them or that you consult with your wedding planner so that they can help. The requirements vary by state and sometimes by county, so please don’t leave it to the last minute if this is the route you are going to take.
If you decide to hire an officiant, we recommend you treat them like any other vendor you are selecting for your wedding and you do your research. Make sure that you interview them and find out what the scope of their services includes. Some officiants will go with you to the courthouse to make sure you get the proper documents. Other officiants like to meet with the couple a several times before the wedding day to get to know the couple, share stories of how the couple fell in love and more.
Be honest with your officiant during the interview and let them know the things that are important to you, like how religious or not religious you want the ceremony to be, is there any bible readings, poems, or passages you want to read. Do you want a short and easy ceremony or do you want something more elaborate, like including a candle ceremony, a sand ceremony, a glass ceremony, etc. Do you want it bilingual? Trilingual? (We’ve done it!). Do they charge for rehearsal? Is there a travel fee involved?
Don’t forget to ask to see videos of their past ceremonies and ask them to see their credentials. Remember, the person who will marry you will be in your videos forever!
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