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The RSVP Controversy Part 2:  When You Respond And You Don’t Show Up 

In our last blog, we discussed the importance of why you should not forget to RSVP when you want to go to a family or friend’s wedding. Showing up unannounced not only is in bad taste but can create an uncomfortable situation for yourself. But what happens when you RSVP that you are going and then decide not to show up?


We all know that many things can happen between the deadline for the RSVPs and the wedding day itself. If there is a family emergency or God forbid, an illness or tragedy, it is understandable why you wouldn’t be able to make it to the wedding. This is more for those who RSVP that they will be going and just simply change their mind.


Let us pretend that your friend Rosy is getting married, and you RSVP’d for two. You selected a chicken and a vegetarian meal. And the weekend of the wedding you decide that you don’t want to go, so you don’t show up. With the pricing on weddings today, the national average being $30,119 for a guest count of 129-139, you and your guest not showing up can cost Rosy between $233.50-$216.70 per person.


This is why some brides and grooms are taking to social media to vent about the guests who decide to back out for no reason, are sending invoices to such guests after they have RSVP’d that they are coming, and more. Even though we don’t encourage having a falling out or argument about a guest not showing up to the wedding after they RSVP’d, we completely understand why the bride and groom would be upset.


The bride and groom chose you to be part of their big day. Normally RSVPs are expected 3-4 weeks before the wedding day, which means you have PLENTY of time to decide if you want to go or not. Unless an emergency prevents you from going, if you RSVP yes, please show up. As Carolyn Gerin once said, “Not showing up to a wedding post-RSVP guarantees expulsion from the couple’s A list in the future.”

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