Let’s Talk Gifts, Baby: Wedding Gifting Expectations Without the Weirdness

Ah, wedding gifting—the thing no one wants to talk about but everyone has opinions on. Should you register for cash? Is it rude to say “no gifts, please”? And what do you say when someone squints at your registry and blurts out: “Wait… do you actually expect people to bring gifts?” Buckle up, lovebirds. We're going there. Because you deserve to celebrate your way without stressing about who’s bringing what, or not bringing anything at all.

💵 “We’d Rather Have Cash… Is That Okay?”

Yes. A thousand times, yes. We are no longer living in a time where every couple needs a toaster, monogrammed bath towels, and matching china that collects dust for 11.5 months of the year. So, if you’d rather have your guests contribute to a honeymoon fund, house down payment, or “get me out of student loan debt” registry—do it. Just don’t go all “Venmo us @newlywedz” in your invitations. There’s a right way to be modern and classy.

How to word it on your wedding website (not your invite, don’t make me come find you): “Your presence is the best gift we could ask for! But if you’d like to help us start our next chapter, we’ve set up a honeymoon/cash fund here.”

💡 Planner Tip:Make it personal. “Help us eat our weight in pasta in Italy” sounds way better than “Give us money.”

🚫 “We Don’t Want Gifts… Seriously!”

If you’re one of those unicorn couples who truly don’t want gifts, respect. But let me prepare you: some guests will ignore you. Not to be rude, but because gift-giving is how many people show love (especially older relatives who grew up gifting gravy boats like it was a competitive sport). If you want to skip the gifts entirely, be gracious but firm, and give folks an alternative if you’d like.

Examples:

“We’re just so excited to celebrate with everyone—your presence is the only present we need!” or “If you feel moved to give, a donation to [Charity Name] would mean a lot to us.”

💡 Planner Tip:People will still bring gifts. Just smile, say thank you, and keep it moving.

🧐 “Wait… Do You Expect Gifts?”

The shade. The audacity. The nerve. But sure, someone’s going to ask it. It might be a friend. Might be your future in-law. Might be someone who read a Reddit thread and now thinks weddings are just elaborate money grabs. So, what do you say?

You say this: “Gifts aren’t expected, but they’re always appreciated. We’re just excited to celebrate with everyone!” Short. Sweet. Respectful. No weird energy.

💡 Planner Tip:It’s okay to want gifts. Just don’t expect them. That’s the etiquette sweet spot.

📝 Final Thoughts (Because You Know I Can’t Stay Quiet)

There’s no “one way” to do gifts anymore. Couples are writing their own rules, and I love that for you. The key is to communicate your preferences clearly, with a little humor and a lot of grace. Use your wedding website to share your registry or gifting stance. Keep your formal invites classy (no dollar signs, please). And when in doubt, remember people want to celebrate you. Help them do it in a way that feels good for everyone.

And hey, if you’re still not sure how to word things without starting a group chat war between your mom and your maid of honor? You’ve got me. 😉

Need help updating your website or diffusing a “Why aren’t you registering at Macy’s?” convo?We’ve got you. At Elegant Evening Events, we help couples plan weddings that make sense for their lives—not their great aunt’s Pinterest board.