Dear wrongfully accused bridezilla,
I see you. I see the frustrations and the tears and why you are upset. And no, I’m not talking to those with unreasonable requests and the entitled attitudes, you truly deserve the title of bridezilla. Trust me, eleven years in the industry and I've encountered a handful of true bridezillas. I’m talking to the bride that is overwhelmed by external circumstances or people, who has been trying to handle everything, until her cup overflows and she explodes and then is labeled bridezilla.
In 1995 Diana White, a writer for the Boston Globe coined the term bridezilla when she was describing how the brides become difficult when planning their weddings. The term has been used ever since whenever a bride seems to have an emotional response to a situation. I am here to defend you, the unjustly labeled bridezilla.
Planning a wedding can be stressful and emotional. You tell yourself that you are planning YOUR day with your love, you have this vision of what you want it to look like, to feel like. And then reality hits and you get bombarded with logistic questions like, “can we afford it? Where are we going to do it? Who are we inviting? Where are guests going to stay? What are they going to eat?” All the questions that you want to slowly start answering with your groom, but that overnight everyone seems to expect you to know.
Sometimes it isn’t the questions. It's our loved ones that don’t realize they are fretting us. Some do it unintentionally while others unfortunately think the wedding is about them and not about you and your fiance. Whether by insisting that you add guests to your wedding that you don’t know who they are or trying to impose their tastes on your selections, criticizing your wedding dress, or creating unnecessary drama for you, it can cause your wedding planning experience to be difficult.
Vendors can add to the emotional overload. Not responding back to emails, ghosting on you after you’ve made the payment, not respecting your opinions, it all adds up. The people who you hire to make everything run smoothly can at times add to your stress. Trust me, I see it.
You first try to hide the stress, crying when you are alone or with your fiance. You try not to show that you are overwhelmed because everyone has told you that this is the happiest time of your life, planning your wedding, and that's what you are supposed to feel. And then little by little, the drops become a waterfall, until you explode in the middle of a dress fitting, and someone unjustly tells you, “Can you stop being a bridezilla?”
I see you. And I am here to tell you that you aren’t a bridezilla. You are a human being who is stressed out. And it is perfectly ok to step back, take a deep breath, go for a run, hit up the punching bag, whatever it is that you have to do to release the stress. It is also perfectly ok to change vendors if they aren’t listening to you. It's perfectly ok to tell wedding party members, guests, or family who have been stressing you that they need to remember that it is your wedding, that they are adding to your stress, and if they don’t like it, they can go. Because at the end of the day, IT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY. Not theirs. Read that again, IT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY. You have been wrongfully accused of being a bridezilla, I see you, and I’m here to defend you.
Your Wedding Planner